{"id":2909,"date":"2013-07-08T10:16:22","date_gmt":"2013-07-08T03:16:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/science-technology.vn\/?p=2909"},"modified":"2013-07-08T10:16:22","modified_gmt":"2013-07-08T03:16:22","slug":"quan-he-voi-bo-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/?p=2909","title":{"rendered":"Quan h\u1ec7 v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9"},"content":{"rendered":"

T\u00f4i nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c m\u1ed9t email t\u1eeb m\u1ed9t sinh vi\u00ean K\u0129 ngh\u1ec7 ph\u1ea7n m\u1ec1m trong \u0111\u00f3 anh ta vi\u1ebft: \u201cT\u00f4i c\u00f3 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 t\u00f4i. T\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft l\u00e0m sao gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c n\u00f3 v\u00ec h\u1ecd mu\u1ed1n t\u00f4i h\u1ecdc k\u0129 s\u01b0 ph\u1ea7n m\u1ec1m b\u1edfi v\u00ec n\u00f3 c\u00f3 t\u01b0\u01a1ng lai t\u1ed1t. T\u00f4i th\u1ea5y n\u00f3 kh\u00f3 v\u1edbi qu\u00e1 nhi\u1ec1u c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c. B\u1ea1n b\u00e8 t\u00f4i h\u1ecdc c\u00e1c l\u0129nh v\u1ef1c kh\u00e1c v\u00e0 h\u1ecd c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u th\u1eddi gian t\u1eadn h\u01b0\u1edfng cho h\u1ecd. T\u00f4i l\u00e0 sinh vi\u00ean gi\u1ecfi, bao gi\u1edd c\u0169ng h\u1ecdc gi\u1ecfi \u1edf tr\u01b0\u1eddng v\u00e0 t\u00f4i y\u00eau b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 t\u00f4i nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u00f4i khi h\u1ecd th\u00fac \u00e9p t\u00f4i qu\u00e1 nhi\u1ec1u. T\u00f4i bi\u1ebft \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 th\u1ea7y mong \u0111\u1ee3i t\u1eeb sinh vi\u00ean nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i KH\u00d4NG ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi duy nh\u1ea5t v\u1edbi v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 n\u00e0y; nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi trong s\u1ed1 b\u1ea1n l\u1edbp t\u00f4i c\u0169ng c\u00f3 c\u00f9ng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u1ecdc email n\u00e0y v\u00e0i l\u1ea7n tr\u01b0\u1edbc khi tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi. T\u00f4i tin m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi ph\u1ea3i gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft c\u00e1c v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh b\u1eb1ng vi\u1ec7c nh\u00ecn v\u00e0o t\u00e2m tr\u00ed ri\u00eang v\u00e0 tr\u00e1i tim ri\u00eang c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. C\u00e2u tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi bao gi\u1edd c\u0169ng c\u00f3 n\u1ebfu h\u1ecd nh\u00ecn \u0111\u1ee7 s\u00e2u. V\u1ec1 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n, \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd bi\u1ebft l\u00e0 \u1edf ch\u1ed7 b\u1ea1n h\u1ea7u nh\u01b0 s\u1eafp s\u1eeda s\u1ebd gi\u1ed1ng b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n. B\u1ea1n b\u1ecb \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng b\u1edfi m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n t\u1eeb tu\u1ed5i c\u00f2n r\u1ea5t th\u01a1 \u1ea5u. B\u1ea1n bao gi\u1edd c\u0169ng l\u1ea5y m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 \u0111\u1eb7c tr\u01b0ng m\u00e0 b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n c\u00f3. T\u1ea5t nhi\u00ean, b\u00ean c\u1ea1nh gen t\u1eeb b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n, b\u1ea1n c\u0169ng ngh\u0129 v\u00e0 c\u01b0 x\u1eed r\u1ea5t t\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u1ef1 nh\u01b0 b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n m\u00e0 b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft b\u00e2y gi\u1edd, nh\u01b0ng b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ebf \u0111\u1ea5y. B\u1ea1n s\u1ebd th\u1ea5y h\u1ea7u h\u1ebft v\u1ec1 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh trong c\u1ea3 \u0111\u1eddi m\u00ecnh. \u0110\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t khi b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 gia \u0111\u00ecnh ri\u00eang v\u00e0 con ri\u00eang, t\u00f4i ngh\u0129 m\u1ecdi xung \u0111\u1ed9t v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 ch\u1ee7 y\u1ebfu l\u00e0 v\u1ec1 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 KH\u00d4NG ph\u1ea3i v\u1ec1 b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n.<\/p>\n

\u0110i\u1ec1u \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean b\u1ea1n c\u1ea7n bi\u1ebft l\u00e0 b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n mu\u1ed1n cho b\u1ea1n \u0111i\u1ec1u t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. Khi h\u1ecd ch\u1ecdn l\u1ef1a l\u0129nh v\u1ef1c h\u1ecdc t\u1eadp t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t m\u00e0 h\u1ecd tin c\u00f3 t\u01b0\u01a1ng lai t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n cho b\u1ea1n, h\u1ecd c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 “th\u00fac \u00e9p ch\u00fat \u00edt\u201d nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u00e2y l\u00e0 t\u1eeb t\u00ecnh y\u00eau c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n n\u00ean \u0111\u00e1nh gi\u00e1 cao \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3. Nh\u01b0 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 nh\u1eafc t\u1edbi r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n l\u00e0 sinh vi\u00ean gi\u1ecfi, t\u00f4i ngh\u0129 b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd h\u1ecdc gi\u1ecfi trong b\u1ea5t k\u00ec l\u0129nh v\u1ef1c h\u1ecdc t\u1eadp n\u00e0o m\u00e0 b\u1ea1n ch\u1ecdn d\u00f9 n\u00f3 l\u00e0 k\u0129 ngh\u1ec7 ph\u1ea7n m\u1ec1m hay b\u1ea5t k\u00ec c\u00e1i g\u00ec kh\u00e1c. V\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n l\u00e0 \u1edf ch\u1ed7 b\u1ea1n so s\u00e1nh l\u0129nh v\u1ef1c c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n v\u1edbi \u0111i\u1ec1u b\u1ea1n b\u00e8 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ecdn l\u1ef1a v\u00e0 tin r\u1eb1ng h\u1ecd c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u th\u1eddi gian \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1eadn h\u01b0\u1edfng khi b\u1ea1n ph\u1ea3i h\u1ecdc t\u1eadp v\u1ea5t v\u1ea3. B\u1ea1n KH\u00d4NG n\u00ean so s\u00e1nh b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c b\u1edfi v\u00ec \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 s\u1ebd l\u00e0m cho b\u1ea1n cay \u0111\u1eafng h\u01a1n. V\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 th\u1ef1c ng\u00e0y nay l\u00e0 \u1edf ch\u1ed7 m\u1ecdi th\u1ee9 trong x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i \u0111\u1ec1u th\u00fac ch\u00fang ta nh\u00ecn ra ngo\u00e0i, so s\u00e1nh, ch\u00fa \u00fd t\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c, nh\u01b0ng gi\u1ea3i ph\u00e1p KH\u00d4NG \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c t\u00ecm ra theo c\u00e1ch \u0111\u00f3, m\u00e0 \u0111i v\u00e0o trong c\u00e1i ta b\u00ean trong c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf bi\u1ebft l\u1ea5y b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh.<\/p>\n

Ng\u00e0y nay b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i g\u1ea7n nh\u01b0 s\u1ed1ng trong c\u00e1c th\u1ebf gi\u1edbi kh\u00e1c nhau. Con c\u00e1i c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y ch\u00fang b\u1ecb “ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t” b\u1edfi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 KH\u00d4NG c\u00f3 th\u1eddi gian th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 hi\u1ec3u con c\u00e1i v\u00e0 th\u01b0\u1eddng kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft l\u00e0m th\u1ebf n\u00e0o. Cho n\u00ean, c\u00f3 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 trao \u0111\u1ed5i, con c\u00e1i mu\u1ed1n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c hi\u1ec3u, \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn, nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u1ed3ng th\u1eddi c\u0169ng mu\u1ed1n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1ed9c l\u1eadp v\u00e0 l\u00e0 con ng\u01b0\u1eddi ri\u00eang c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang. B\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 KH\u00d4NG ngh\u0129 con c\u00e1i h\u1ecd \u0111\u1ee7 “kh\u00f4n ngoan” \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1ef1 m\u00ecnh ra quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh b\u1edfi v\u00ec b\u1ea1n bao nhi\u00eau tu\u1ed5i c\u0169ng KH\u00d4NG th\u00e0nh v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1. B\u1ea1n v\u1eabn l\u00e0 con h\u1ecd. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi s\u00e1u m\u01b0\u01a1i tu\u1ed5i v\u1eabn l\u00e0 “con” c\u1ee7a b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 gi\u00e0 t\u00e1m m\u01b0\u01a1i tu\u1ed5i. Khi b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 gia \u0111\u00ecnh ri\u00eang, b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 l\u1ebd s\u1ebd th\u1ea5y r\u1eb1ng m\u1ecdi l\u1ed7i b\u1ea1n hi\u1ec7n th\u1ea5y trong b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n, b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng \u0111\u00edch x\u00e1c gi\u1ed1ng h\u1ec7t v\u1edbi con b\u1ea1n. Th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 d\u1ec5 d\u00e0ng ngh\u0129 b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng kh\u00e1c, nh\u01b0ng khi b\u1ea1n lo ngh\u0129 v\u1ec1 t\u01b0\u01a1ng lai b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng theo c\u00f9ng c\u00e1ch\u00a0 b\u1eb1ng vi\u1ec7c ra quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh, quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c, cho con b\u1ea1n. B\u1ea1n s\u1ebd \u201cth\u00fac \u00e9p ch\u00fat \u00edt\u201d b\u1edfi v\u00ec m\u1ecdi ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n \u0111ang x\u1ea3y ra b\u00ean trong b\u1ea1n.<\/p>\n

M\u1ed9t kh\u00e1i ni\u1ec7m quan tr\u1ecdng trong v\u0103n ho\u00e1 c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ec1n \u0111\u00e1p l\u1ea1i b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m cho b\u1ea1n. H\u1ecd sinh ra b\u1ea1n, nu\u00f4i b\u1ea1n, gi\u00e1o d\u01b0\u1ee1ng b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 ch\u0103m nom b\u1ea1n cho n\u00ean c\u00f3 c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c \u0111\u1ec1n \u0111\u00e1p l\u1ea1i b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n v\u1ec1 \u0111i\u1ec1u h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 cho b\u1ea1n v\u00e0o m\u1ecdi l\u00fac \u0111\u00f3, v\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 “\u0111\u1ea1o l\u00e0m con”. L\u00e0 m\u1ed9t v\u0103n ho\u00e1 truy\u1ec1n th\u1ed1ng, \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 g\u1ea7n nh\u01b0 b\u1ecb m\u1ea5t \u0111i trong m\u00f4i tr\u01b0\u1eddng ng\u00e0y nay b\u1edfi v\u00ec nhi\u1ec1u thanh ni\u00ean g\u1eb7p l\u00fac kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n v\u1edbi \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u1ea1o l\u00e0m con ng\u1ee5 \u00fd khi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 h\u1ecd b\u1ea3o h\u1ecd \u0111i theo \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng n\u00e0y c\u00f2n h\u1ecd nh\u00ecn trong c\u00e1i ta ri\u00eang c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh h\u1ecd c\u1ea7n \u0111i theo h\u01b0\u1edbng kh\u00e1c. L\u00ed do \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n l\u00e0 c\u1ea5u tr\u00fac c\u1ee7a x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i hi\u1ec7n \u0111\u1ea1i \u0111\u1eb7t \u0111i\u1ec1u kh\u00e1c v\u00e0o trong b\u1ea1n m\u00e0 tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh c\u01a1 s\u1edf cho c\u00e1 t\u00ednh c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u1edf m\u1ee9c \u0111\u1ed9 v\u00f4 th\u1ee9c cho n\u00ean m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi s\u1ebd nh\u00ecn h\u1ea7u h\u1ebft h\u01b0\u1edbng ra ngo\u00e0i thay v\u00ec nh\u00ecn v\u00e0o trong. \u0110i\u1ec1u then ch\u1ed1t l\u00e0 \u1edf ch\u1ed7 h\u1ea7u h\u1ebft c\u00e1c v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n l\u00e0 cu\u1ed9c v\u1eadt l\u1ed9n b\u00ean trong c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n gi\u1eefa \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng c\u1ee7a x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i b\u00ean trong b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n l\u00e0 ai (\u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 t\u00e2m tr\u00ed v\u00e0 tr\u00e1i tim b\u1ea1n \u0111ang gi\u00fap b\u1ea1n ra quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh \u0111\u00fang).<\/p>\n

V\u1edbi v\u0103n ho\u00e1 ph\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u00e2y, \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i hay “c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n” l\u00e0 quan tr\u1ecdng v\u00ec m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi bao gi\u1edd c\u0169ng nh\u00ecn ra ngo\u00e0i t\u1edbi \u0111i\u1ec3m m\u00e0 \u0111\u1ea1o l\u00e0m con kh\u00f4ng c\u00f2n ngh\u0129a n\u00e0o c\u1ea3. Tuy nhi\u00ean, v\u0103n ho\u00e1 ph\u01b0\u01a1ng \u0111\u00f4ng c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00f4ng \u0111i xa th\u1ebf, \u00edt nh\u1ea5t c\u0169ng ch\u01b0a. Ch\u00fang ta v\u1eabn c\u00f2n c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng gi\u1eef c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 gi\u00e1 tr\u1ecb v\u00e0 \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 l\u00ed do t\u1ea1i sao m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 trong c\u00e1c b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 xung \u0111\u1ed9t. L\u00e0m sao \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft? N\u00f3 l\u00e0 KH\u00d4NG d\u1ec5, nh\u01b0ng v\u1edbi ch\u00fat \u00edt l\u1eafng nghe, ch\u00fat \u00edt ki\u00ean nh\u1eabn, nhi\u1ec1u hi\u1ec3u bi\u1ebft v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng ph\u00e1n x\u00e9t, th\u00ec t\u00f4i ngh\u0129 n\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft. L\u1eddi khuy\u00ean c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i l\u00e0 \u201cB\u1ea1n c\u00e0ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u1ea7n g\u0169i v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n qua \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n c\u00e0ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c c\u00e1c xung \u0111\u1ed9t b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n, th\u00ec m\u1ee9c \u0111\u1ed9 ch\u00e2n th\u00e0nh trong b\u1ea1n c\u00e0ng l\u1edbn h\u01a1n. B\u1edfi v\u00ec t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng kh\u00eda c\u1ea1nh \u0111\u00f3 c\u1ee7a b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n b\u1ea1n, m\u00e0 b\u1ea1n KH\u00d4NG ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n th\u1ea5y r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng v\u00e0o kho\u1ea3nh kh\u1eafc n\u00e0y, ph\u1ea7n l\u1edbn \u0111\u1ec1u b\u1eaft ngu\u1ed3n t\u1eeb b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng th\u1ebf h\u1ec7 tr\u01b0\u1edbc nh\u01b0 h\u1ecd \u0111ang g\u00ecn gi\u1eef trong h\u00e0ng ngh\u00ecn n\u0103m.<\/p>\n

Ta h\u00e3y quay l\u1ea1i vi\u1ec7c h\u1ecdc k\u0129 ngh\u1ec7 ph\u1ea7n m\u1ec1m. N\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng y\u00eau c\u1ea7u nhi\u1ec1u c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c nh\u01b0ng \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 KH\u00d4NG c\u00f3 ngh\u0129a l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n ph\u1ea3i d\u00e0nh T\u1ea4T C\u1ea2 th\u1eddi gian v\u00e0o h\u1ecdc h\u00e0nh. B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 nh\u00ecn v\u00e0o th\u1eddi gian b\u1ea1n d\u00f9ng h\u00e0ng tu\u1ea7n v\u00e0 nh\u1eadn di\u1ec7n bao nhi\u00eau th\u1eddi gian b\u1ea1n th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 d\u00e0nh cho h\u1ecdc t\u1eadp v\u00e0 bao nhi\u00eau th\u1eddi gian\u00a0 KH\u00d4Ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c d\u00f9ng t\u1ed1t (ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n tr\u00f2 ch\u01a1i m\u00e1y t\u00ednh, duy\u1ec7t web, ph\u00f2ng chat v.v.). B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u1ed5 ch\u1ee9c l\u1ea1i th\u1eddi gian c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n \u0111\u1ec3 cho b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1eddi gian ch\u01a1i th\u1ec3 thao, \u0111i xem phim, hay \u0111i ch\u01a1i v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n b\u00e8. Gi\u00e1o d\u1ee5c kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 \u0111\u1ec1u l\u00e0 h\u1ecdc v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng ch\u01a1i \u0111\u00f9a m\u00e0 l\u00e0 c\u00e2n b\u1eb1ng th\u1eddi gian cho c\u1ea3 t\u00e2m tr\u00ed b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 th\u00e2n th\u1ec3 b\u1ea1n. Qu\u1ea3n l\u00ed th\u1eddi gian c\u00f3 l\u1ebd l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n nh\u1ea5t cho sinh vi\u00ean nh\u01b0ng n\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 qu\u1ea3n l\u00ed \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c n\u00f3 t\u1ed1t, b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u1ea7n nh\u01b0 l\u00e0m b\u1ea5t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u1ea5t k\u00ec c\u00e1i g\u00ec.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—-English version—-<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Relationship with parents<\/p>\n

I received an email from a Software Engineering student in which he wrote: \u201cI have problem with my parents. I do not know how to solve it as they want me to study Software Engineer because it has good future. I found it is difficult with too much works. My friends study other areas and they have lot of time to enjoy themselves. I am a good student, always do well in school and I love my parents but sometime they push me too much. I know this may not be something you expect from a software student but I am NOT the only one with this problem; many of my classmates also have the same problems\u201d.<\/p>\n

I have read this email several times before answering. I believe people must solve their personal problems by look into their own mind and their own heart. The answer is always there if they look deeply enough. About the problem with your parents, the first thing you will learn is that you are going to be mostly like your parents. You are influenced by the relationship with your parents from a very early age. You always pick up a number of characteristics that your parents have. Of course, beside the genes from your parents, you are also thinking and behaving very similar to your parents that you may not know now, but you will. You will find out the most about yourself over your whole lifetime. Especially when you have your own family and your own children, I think all the conflict with your parents is primarily about yourself and NOT your parents.<\/p>\n

The first thing you need to know is your parents want to give you the best thing possible. As they select the best field of study that they believe have better future for you, they may \u201cpush a little bit\u201d but this is out of their love for you and you should appreciate that. As you mentioned that you are a good student, I think you will do well in whatever study field that you choose whether it is software engineering or anything else. Your problem is that you compare your field with what your friends selected and believe that they have lot of time to enjoy themselves when you have to study hard. You should NOT compare yourself with others because it will make you become bitter. The real problem today is that everything in society is pushing us to look outside, to compare, to pay attention to others, but the solution is NOT to be found that way, but going into your inner self and actually know yourself.<\/p>\n

Today parents and children almost live in different worlds. The children feel like they are being \u201cControl\u201d by the parents and the parents do NOT have time to really understand their children and often don\u2019t know how to. So, there is a communication problem, children want to be understood, accepted, but at the same time want to be independent and be their own person. Parents do NOT think their children are \u201cwise\u201d enough to make decision for themselves because it does NOT matter how old you are. You are still their children. A sixty year old man is still \u201ca child\u201d for eighty years old parents. When you have your own family, you will probably find that every fault you currently find in your parents, you will act exactly the same way towards your children. It is really easy to think you are going to act differently, but when you worry about the future you will act the same way by making decision, the best decision possible, for your children. You will \u201cpush a little bit\u201d because all your reactions to your parents are happening within yourself.<\/p>\n

It is an important concept in our culture about paying back your parents for what they did for you. They bore you, fed you, nurture you and take care of you so there is a sense of giving back to your parents for what they gave you all that time, and it is called \u201cfilial piety\u201d. As a traditional culture, it almost get lost in today\u2019s environment because many younger people are having a hard time with what filial piety means when their parents telling them to go this way and they see in their own selves they need the other direction. The simple reason is the structure of modern society put other thing into you that becomes the basis of your personality on an unconscious level so people will look mostly outward rather than inward. The key thing is that most of your issues are your internal struggles between the influence of the society inside you and who you are (That is your minds and heart helping you to making the right decisions).<\/p>\n

With the western culture, the society influence or the \u201cindividual\u201d is important as people always looking outward to the point where filial piety has no meaning at all. However, our eastern culture has not going that far, at least not yet. We are still being able to keep something of a valuable and that is why some of you are having conflicts. How can this be resolved? It is NOT easy, but with a bit of listening, a bit of patience, a lot of understanding and non-judgment, then I think it can be resolved. My advice is \u201cThe closer you can be with your parents over a lifetime and the more you can resolve the conflicts you have with your parents, the greater the degree of honesty in yourself. Because all of those aspects of yourself that you do NOT quite see clearly at this moment are mostly from your parents and other previous generations as they are being preserved for thousand of years.<\/p>\n

Let\u2018s go back to the study of Software Engineering. It does require lot of works but it does NOT means you have to spend ALL the time studying. You may want to look at the time you spend each week and identify how much time you really spend in study and how much time is NOT well spend (For example computer games, search the web, chat rooms etc).You may want to organize your time better so you can have time to play sport, to go to movies, or go out with your friends. Education is not all study and no play but a balance of time for both your mind and your body. Managing time is probably the most difficult thing to students but if you can manage it well, you can almost do anything.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

T\u00f4i nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c m\u1ed9t email t\u1eeb m\u1ed9t sinh vi\u00ean K\u0129 ngh\u1ec7 ph\u1ea7n m\u1ec1m trong \u0111\u00f3 anh ta vi\u1ebft: \u201cT\u00f4i c\u00f3 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-loi-khuyen-cho-sinh-vien","category-cac-van-de-khac"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2909"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2909\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2910,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2909\/revisions\/2910"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}