{"id":1985,"date":"2013-07-04T13:12:57","date_gmt":"2013-07-04T06:12:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/science-technology.vn\/?p=1985"},"modified":"2013-07-04T13:12:57","modified_gmt":"2013-07-04T06:12:57","slug":"khi-ban-that-bai-o-dai-hoc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/?p=1985","title":{"rendered":"Khi b\u1ea1n th\u1ea5t b\u1ea1i \u1edf \u0111\u1ea1i h\u1ecdc"},"content":{"rendered":"

M\u1ed9t sinh vi\u00ean \u0111\u1ea1i h\u1ecdc n\u0103m th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t vi\u1ebft cho t\u00f4i: \u201cEm tr\u01b0\u1ee3t nhi\u1ec1u m\u00f4n v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 l\u00ean l\u1edbp ti\u1ebfp \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. B\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 em kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft v\u1ec1 \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y v\u00ec em b\u1ea3o v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 l\u00e0 m\u1ecdi s\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ec1u t\u1ed1t. Khi n\u0103m h\u1ecdc m\u1edbi b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u, em kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0m g\u00ec hay em s\u1ebd n\u00f3i v\u1edbi b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 em th\u1ebf n\u00e0o v\u1ec1 t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng c\u1ee7a em. Xin th\u1ea7y l\u1eddi khuy\u00ean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u0110\u00e1p: B\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 h\u1ed7 tr\u1ee3 cho b\u1ea1n trong nhi\u1ec1u n\u0103m r\u1ed3i. H\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c v\u1ea5t v\u1ea3 \u0111\u1ec3 cho b\u1ea1n v\u00e0o \u0111\u1ea1i h\u1ecdc v\u00e0 h\u1ecd mong \u0111\u1ee3i r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n h\u1ecdc t\u1ed1t. V\u1edbi t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 vi\u1ebft, l\u1eddi khuy\u00ean c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n n\u00ean n\u00f3i s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt v\u1edbi h\u1ecd. \u0110i\u1ec1u t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m l\u00e0 trung th\u1ef1c v\u1edbi h\u1ecd.<\/p>\n

V\u00e0o l\u00fac n\u00e0y, b\u1ea1n n\u00ean bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft t\u1ed1t v\u1edbi tin x\u1ea5u h\u01a1n l\u00e0 m\u00e3i v\u1ec1 sau khi nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c “tin t\u1ee9c m\u01a1 h\u1ed3” r\u1ed3i t\u00ecnh th\u1ebf v\u1ec1 sau c\u00f2n x\u1ea5u h\u01a1n. Cho n\u00ean c\u1ee9 trung th\u1ef1c v\u1ec1 t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111i v\u00e0 th\u1eeba nh\u1eadn r\u1eb1ng \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 l\u1ed7i c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n (Kh\u00f4ng h\u1ecdc h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ee7, d\u00e0nh qu\u00e1 nhi\u1ec1u th\u1eddi gian v\u00e0o li\u00ean hoan, ch\u01a1i tr\u00f2 ch\u01a1i video qu\u00e1 nhi\u1ec1u hay b\u1ecf qu\u00e1 nhi\u1ec1u bu\u1ed5i l\u00ean l\u1edbp v.v.)? Ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m \u0111i. Trung th\u1ef1c c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng tho\u1ea3i m\u00e1i, nh\u01b0ng n\u00f3 l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t trong nh\u1eefng t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf n\u00e0y.<\/p>\n

B\u1ea1n n\u00ean b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng v\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 c\u01a1 h\u1ed9i h\u1ecdc t\u1eadp cho b\u1ea1n. V\u1eady l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n tr\u01b0\u1ee3t l\u1edbp. \u0110\u01b0\u1ee3c, b\u1ea1n tr\u01b0\u1ee3t nhi\u1ec1u l\u1edbp. B\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 h\u1ecdc \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c g\u00ec t\u1eeb \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3? C\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n c\u1ea7n qu\u1ea3n l\u00ed th\u1eddi gian c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n? C\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng n\u00ean d\u00e0nh th\u1eddi gian v\u1edbi v\u00e0i ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n x\u1ea5u? C\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng n\u00ean b\u1ecf gi\u1edd l\u00ean l\u1edbp? C\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng n\u00ean ch\u01a1i tr\u00f2 ch\u01a1i video c\u1ea3 ng\u00e0y v\u00e0 c\u1ea3 \u0111\u00eam? C\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng n\u00ean \u0111i \u0103n li\u00ean hoan m\u1ecdi \u0111\u00eam? \u0110\u1ec3 cho b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n bi\u1ebft \u0111i\u1ec1u b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 h\u1ecdc \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c v\u00e0 s\u1ebd l\u00e0m c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 kh\u00e1c \u0111i sao cho \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y s\u1ebd kh\u00f4ng x\u1ea3y ra n\u1eefa.<\/p>\n

N\u1ebfu nh\u01b0 t\u00f4i l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n, t\u00f4i s\u1ebd n\u00f3i “Th\u01b0a b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9, con \u0111\u00e3 tr\u01b0\u1ee3t n\u0103m th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t \u1edf \u0111\u1ea1i h\u1ecdc. Con cho r\u1eb1ng con \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00f4ng d\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ee7 th\u1eddi gian \u1edf l\u1edbp. Con \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft c\u00e1ch gi\u1eef c\u00e2n b\u1eb1ng th\u1eddi gian c\u1ee7a con. Con \u0111\u00e3 qu\u00e1 b\u1ecb sao l\u00e3ng b\u1edfi c\u00e1c ho\u1ea1t \u0111\u1ed9ng b\u00ean ngo\u00e0i tr\u01b0\u1eddng. Con t\u01b0\u1edfng con c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 h\u1ecdc nh\u1ed3i nh\u00e9t tr\u01b0\u1edbc khi thi, c\u0169ng nh\u01b0 con \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m \u1edf tr\u01b0\u1eddng ph\u1ed5 th\u00f4ng nh\u01b0ng l\u1ea7n n\u00e0y kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 t\u00e1c d\u1ee5ng. Cho n\u00ean b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u n\u0103m nay, con l\u1eadp k\u1ebf ho\u1ea1ch \u0111\u1ec3 tham gia nh\u00f3m h\u1ecdc t\u1eadp \u0111\u1ec3 cho con c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 h\u1ecdc t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n. Con \u0111\u00e3 n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n nh\u00e0 tr\u01b0\u1eddng v\u00e0 h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 gi\u00fap con qu\u1ea3n l\u00ed th\u1eddi gian t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n. Con h\u1ee9a l\u00e0 con s\u1ebd ch\u1ea5m d\u1ee9t m\u1ecdi ho\u1ea1t \u0111\u1ed9ng kh\u00e1c \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1eadp trung v\u00e0o c\u1ea3i ti\u1ebfn vi\u1ec7c h\u1ecdc c\u1ee7a con.”<\/p>\n

B\u1ea1n n\u00ean \u0111\u1ec3 cho b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n bi\u1ebft t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng hi\u1ec7n th\u1eddi c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n l\u00e0 g\u00ec. H\u1ecd r\u1ea5t c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 mu\u1ed1n bi\u1ebft li\u1ec7u b\u1ea1n v\u1eabn c\u00f2n \u1edf tr\u01b0\u1eddng hay kh\u00f4ng? \u0110i\u1ec1o \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 ngh\u0129a l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n ph\u1ea3i h\u1ecdc l\u1ea1i v\u00e0i l\u1edbp? B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 b\u1ecb treo \u1edf trong tr\u01b0\u1eddng kh\u00f4ng? B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng v\u1eabn \u1edf c\u00f9ng tr\u01b0\u1eddng \u0111\u00f3 hay ph\u1ea3i chuy\u1ec3n sang tr\u01b0\u1eddng kh\u00e1c? Ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c chu\u1ea9n b\u1ecb v\u1ec1 c\u00e1ch th\u1ee9c b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd l\u00e0m ti\u1ebfp \u0111\u00f3. \u0110\u1ec3 cho b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n bi\u1ebft c\u1ed1 v\u1ea5n nh\u00e0 tr\u01b0\u1eddng n\u00f3i cho b\u1ea1n \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec (n\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ea3o lu\u1eadn v\u1edbi h\u1ecd). B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 n\u00f3i: “Con \u0111\u00e3 n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u1ed1 v\u1ea5n tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ecdc v\u00ec h\u1ecd bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng con kh\u00f4ng h\u1ecdc t\u1ed1t. H\u1ecd \u0111\u1ed3ng \u00fd cho con th\u1eed l\u1ea1i th\u00eam m\u1ed9t l\u1ea7n n\u1eefa v\u00e0 h\u1ecdc l\u1ea1i m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 l\u1edbp. L\u1ea7n n\u00e0y h\u1ecd s\u1ebd gi\u00e1m s\u00e1t ti\u1ebfn b\u1ed9 c\u1ee7a con. Con s\u1ebd t\u1edbi trung t\u00e2m ph\u1ee5 \u0111\u1ea1o \u00edt nh\u1ea5t hai l\u1ea7n m\u1ed9t tu\u1ea7n \u0111\u1ec3 b\u00f9 l\u1ea1i.”<\/p>\n

Kh\u00f4ng ai bi\u1ebft b\u1ea1n h\u01a1n b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n. Xin \u0111\u1eebng n\u00f3i \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec kh\u00f4ng th\u1eadt. B\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n bi\u1ebft b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1ee7 r\u00f5 \u0111\u1ec3 ph\u00e1t hi\u1ec7n ra \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng c\u00e1i g\u00ec s\u1ebd l\u00e0m cho h\u1ecd c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y t\u1ec7 h\u01a1n l\u00e0 vi\u1ec7c b\u1ea1n n\u00f3i d\u1ed1i h\u1ecd. Cho n\u00ean h\u00e3y ch\u00e2n th\u00e0nh v\u1ec1 \u0111i\u1ec1u b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1ecbnh n\u00f3i v\u1edbi h\u1ecd. Nhi\u1ec1u sinh vi\u00ean n\u0103m th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u00e3 ph\u1ea1m sai l\u1ea7m ki\u1ec3u n\u00e0y cho n\u00ean b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng l\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi duy nh\u1ea5t. Khi m\u00e0 b\u1ea1n h\u1ecdc v\u00e0 \u0111i ti\u1ebfp th\u00ec m\u1ecdi s\u1ef1 s\u1ebd c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n. \u0110\u1eebng bao gi\u1edd n\u00f3i d\u1ed1i b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 b\u1ea1n b\u1edfi v\u00ec b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd ph\u1ea3i d\u00e0nh nhi\u1ec1u th\u1eddi gian h\u01a1n, nhi\u1ec1u n\u1ed7 l\u1ef1c \u0111\u1ec3 che gi\u1ea5u \u0111i\u1ec1u kh\u00f4ng trung th\u1ef1c c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng c\u00e1i g\u00ec c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 b\u1ecb che gi\u1ea5u l\u00e2u \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. Xin n\u00f3i cho h\u1ecd s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt v\u00e0 th\u1eeba nh\u1eadn l\u1ed7i c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n thay v\u00ec c\u1ed1 \u0111\u1ed5 l\u1ed7i l\u00ean c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 kh\u00e1c nh\u01b0 gi\u00e1o s\u01b0 k\u00e9m hay tr\u01b0\u1eddng k\u00e9m.<\/p>\n

V\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 quan tr\u1ecdng nh\u1ea5t kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 v\u1ec1 qu\u00e1 kh\u1ee9 v\u00ec ch\u1eb3ng c\u00e1i g\u00ec b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c v\u1ec1 n\u00f3. N\u00f3 qua r\u1ed3i nh\u01b0ng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 l\u00e0 \u1edf s\u1ef1 ch\u00e2n th\u00e0nh v\u1ec1 \u0111i\u1ec1u b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd l\u00e0m b\u00e2y gi\u1edd. Xin h\u00e3y ch\u00e2n th\u00e0nh khi b\u1ea1n nghe \u0111i\u1ec1u h\u1ecd ph\u1ea3i n\u00f3i. T\u1ea5t nhi\u00ean, h\u1ecd s\u1ebd kh\u00f4ng sung s\u01b0\u1edbng g\u00ec. H\u1ecd c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef v\u1ec1 vi\u1ec7c tr\u01b0\u1ee3t l\u1edbp c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n, nh\u01b0ng nh\u1edb r\u1eb1ng h\u1ecd y\u00eau b\u1ea1n. H\u1ecd y\u00eau b\u1ea1n nhi\u1ec1u h\u01a1n l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 t\u1eebng bi\u1ebft v\u00e0 h\u1ecd s\u1ebd tha th\u1ee9 cho b\u1ea1n. C\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i h\u00f4m nay, kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i ng\u00e0y mai nh\u01b0ng h\u1ecd s\u1ebd tha th\u1ee9 cho b\u1ea1n b\u1edfi v\u00ec h\u1ecd mu\u1ed1n \u0111i\u1ec1u t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t cho b\u1ea1n. V\u1edbi \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 b\u1ea1n ph\u1ea3i h\u1ecdc \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u1ec1n \u0111\u00e1p l\u1ea1i t\u00ecnh y\u00eau c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd m\u1ed9t ng\u00e0y n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3 khi b\u1ea1n hi\u1ec3u h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 y\u00eau b\u1ea1n nhi\u1ec1u th\u1ebf n\u00e0o.<\/p>\n

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—-English version—-<\/p>\n

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When you failed college<\/p>\n

A first year college student wrote to me: \u201cI failed many classes and could not go on to the next level. My parents did not know about this as I told them everything was fine. As the new school year begin, I do not know what to do or how am I going to tell them about my situation. Please advice.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Answer: Your parents have been supporting you for many years. They work hard to send you to college and they expect that you do well. Given the situation that you wrote, my advice is for you should tell them the truth. The best thing you can do is be honest with them.<\/p>\n

At this time, you should know that your parents would deal better with the bad news that can be better later than getting some \u201cvague news\u201d then it gets worse later. So just be honest about your situation and admit that it is your fault (Not studying enough, spending too much time in parties, play too much video games or cut too many classes, etc.)? Accept the responsibility. Honesty may be uncomfortable, but it is the best thing in situations like this.<\/p>\n

You should be calm to explain the situation as it is a learning opportunity for you. So you failed a class. OK, you failed many classes. What did you learn from it? That you need to manage your time better? That you should not spent time with some bad friends? That you should not skip classes? That you should not play video games all day and all night? That you should not go to parties all night? Let your parents know what you have learned and will do something differently so that this will not happen again.<\/p>\n

If I were you, I would say “Mom and Dad, I failed my first year in college. I think because I did not spend enough time in class. I did not know how to balance my time. I was too distracted by all the activities outside of school. I thought I could cram before the exam, just like I did in high school but it did not work. So beginning this year, I am planning to joining a study group so I can study better. I have talked with the school counselor and they have helped me to manage my time better. I promise that I will stop all other activities to focus on improving my learning.”<\/p>\n

You should let your parents know what your current situation is. They most likely will want to know whether you are still in school or not? Is it means you have to repeat several classes? Are you on school probation? Are you been able to stay in the same school or have to go to different school? Be prepared with how you will do next. Let your parents know what the school counselor tell you (if you have a discussion with them). You could say: “I have talked to my school adviser since they knew that I did not do well. The agree to allow me try it one more time and repeat some classes. This time they will monitor my progress. I will go to the tutoring center at least twice a week to make up.”<\/p>\n

No one know you more than your parents. Please do not say anything untruthful. Your parents know you well enough to detect that and nothing would make them feel worse than having you lie to them. So be sincere about what you are going to tell them. Many first year student make this type of mistake so you are not the only one. As long as you learn and move on than things will improve. Never lie to your parents because you will have to spend more time, more efforts to conceal your dishonesty and nothing can stay hidden for long. Please tell them the truth and admit your fault instead of trying to blame it on something such as bad professors or bad school.<\/p>\n

The most important issue is not about the past as nothing you can do about it. It is gone but the issue is be sincere about what you will do now. Please be sincere when you listen to what they have to say. Of course, they will not be happy. They may be angry about your failed class, but remember that they love you. They love you more than you ever know and they will forgive you. Maybe not today, not tomorrow but they will forgive you because they want the best thing for you. For that you must learn to return their love someday when you understand how much they love you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

M\u1ed9t sinh vi\u00ean \u0111\u1ea1i h\u1ecdc n\u0103m th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t vi\u1ebft cho t\u00f4i: \u201cEm tr\u01b0\u1ee3t nhi\u1ec1u m\u00f4n v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 l\u00ean l\u1edbp ti\u1ebfp \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. B\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 em … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1985","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-loi-khuyen-cho-phu-huynh","category-loi-khuyen-cho-sinh-vien"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1985","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1985"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1985\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1986,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1985\/revisions\/1986"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1985"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1985"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/science-technology.vn\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1985"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}